Give a break to life n read it to enjoy the flames in uh...

A spoonful lust.

‘Moma, I’m so tired. I want to come back home and live with you… like old days,’ I pay my fare and step out of the cab.

‘Oh, honey! Your Papa and I also miss you all the time…’ her words make me feel gloomy until she adds ‘… but my child, now you have responsibilities for your own family and husband too.’

I wave my hand to the kids playing in the park while walking; ‘Hmmm… Husband!’ I inhale a deep breath before saying, ‘Well, I have reached home. Talk to you later. Have to cook, before Inder reaches.’

I disconnect the call and amble towards the apartment while keeping the mobile in the handbag; thinking about the argument I had with him this morning that could be avoided with ease if I would stay calm. He is trying all his ways to make me happy like movies, outings, trips, dinners everything that a calm and well-sorted man can do to please his wife. Still, I don’t know why I keep comparing him with my ex-boyfriends. He, no doubt stands out as the best husband but, I feel a void unfilled in this 5 months’ wedding. Being in a spoilt company, liquors and hookah, hardcore, and doing dirty things to every extent had turned to an addiction for me, and now living with a guy, who wears formal even on weekends, who brushes his teeth even before the morning kisses, and who never touched the alcohol… makes me feel like too much prosy. He is too decent, had no sex life before marriage, too much slow, and also I think… he doesn’t want to understand this.

I insert the key in the keyhole and try to rotate the key that doesn’t work. I take a breath and again insert the key, put all my efforts to unlock the door but the door opens by itself. I remove my shoes and while putting it in the rack near the door only, his shoes make me realize my stupidity.

‘You came home… so early. All okay?’ I ask and step in and find him wearing some pale blue colored loose cotton boxers and… nothing else! ‘I put all your half sleeved shirts in the sideway block of the wardrobe. Let me, get you one,’ I lock the door and move to get in but he is standing still at his position and gazing me. I move my brows and hand to ask him for the side but he stands still until I touched his forehead to check if he had a fever or some other health issue. He holds my hand approaching his face with a grip and kisses my fingers gently. I coy like some teen and correct the strands of my hairs that are no less than a mess. He moves closer to my ear, I can feel his warm breath on my skin; he whispers, ‘sit down on your knees.’

‘Aeh!’ only sound I make. I lift on my toes to see if everything is fine in the kitchen or prayer room.

‘Inder! Why are you not letting me walk in?’ I choose this one to start my questioning.

‘I want to spice up your life today,’ he corrects his glasses by lifting it from the nose with the middle finger. His hooded eyes have some spark and gestures are so confident to surprise me. I gaze at him with heavy eyes imbibing the mood of the atmosphere. He extends his hand towards me and I immediately put mine in his soft palm, he curled his long fingers and made it to reach his chest. I touch his skin beneath the small and soft body hair. ‘Put down your bag and kneel,’ he says in a soft voice looking into my eyes.

I drop my bags and knee down on the floor keeping my eyes on him and my palm traveling his body from chest to reach the thighs passing through the waist, navel, and his groin. The very first time, hairs on his body are enticing me to touch and kiss. His bulge from the boxers is luring me like some candy to a school going.

‘Am I gonna have a hard day?’ I ask, stressing on the word hard. He turns and starts walking into the gallery to the lobby area. He squats down on his toes facing me from a distance. ‘Come here…,’ he says with a gracious smile. I am putting my hand on the floor to stand till he asks with raised brows, ‘Did I ask you to stand?’ he paused, running his fingers through his hair. His smile was so fascinating. I notice a tiny dimple under his lips to right and that makes his smile much more beautiful. I started crawling towards him staring at his foot tapping the floor.

‘Ouch!’…Something whips me at my butt. 

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Narayani ki Kalam se

 कुछ गुफ्तगू जो उस रोज़ रह गई थी,

वो अभी बाकी है...

सांसे जो धड़कनों से रुसवा हुई थी,

सुलह बाकी है...

महफ़िल की रौनक भी जिसके नाम की थी,

जाम का प्याला हाथ में लिए वो प्यासा... 

                 .....शायद एक साकी है।।

--- नारायणी

आसमानी वफाएं

 दिन तो जैसे तैसे बीत जाता हैं,

शोर गुल की भीड़ में...

पर सनम, राते है,

जो बड़ी वीरानी लगती है।

तुम्हे याद करते करते,
होंठो पर मुस्कान तो आ जाती है...

पर आंखे तुम्हारे बिना,

बस खारे में डूबी रहती है।

कोई शिकवा नहीं,
तुम्हारी बेवफाई से मुझे...

ना नाराजगी प्यार भरे अल्फजो से,

पर हां... वफाओं की बाते अब कुछ आसमानी सी लगती है ।।

--- नारायणी

My ink shouts...1

I know... Neither my existence in such a huge Universe can create some change nor my absence can create the oceans anymore saltier. 

I never know... How much the vacum have the comets... but all I know is that... I'm too small to stop them striking my heart with an explosion and break it into ashes.

I know is about me... I existed... Or will keep my existence to achieve some crest... No matters if I'm looking at the top from the deepest valley with my vision...

Vision to see the world growing, to see the world reading, to see the minds exploring and hearts wandering in the emptiness of core.

Namo Narayana...!

Narayana 🥀

I fold my hands and close my eyes

Everytime i come towards your light.

You show me a mirror...

To reflect my core so clear,

The strength, courage, and purity

Highlightens... against all the murky.

Everytime,

I fold my hands and close my eyes...

You reflect me and all my strengths.

Narayana, your shine fall on my core

To make me Narayani little more.

---Narayani

#Yesterday, while doing some #households like every #evening. I gazed at the #idol of my #Narayana and found #myself #reflecting in the #lights of #dark #room. I saw a #power, #will, #strength in that light #reflected from my inner side.
I #loved myself way more than I #ever did.
.
.
.
#Positivity is all about your #state_of_mind. And love for the #extreme #core of positivity will #keep this positivity #everlasting.
.
.
.
.
#read
#write
#poet
#poem
#words
#work
#inked
#spilledink

कुछ मेरे हिस्से का...

पूरी किताब ना सही,
कोई एक किस्सा तो मुझसे होगा ही...

किसी की मोहब्बत न तो दोस्ती में,
मेरा कुछ तो हिस्सा होगा ही...

चांद भले ना सही,

मेरे हिस्से में कुछ आसमान तो होगा ही।

बंद अलमारियों में छिपी कोई तस्वीर ना सही,
पर आज भी उन पुरानी किताबों मे तो मेरा दिया फूल होगा ही...

सावन में भीगी साथ बारिशों को नहीं,
शायद तेज़ धूप में मेरे साए को याद किया होगा ही...

चांद भले ना सही,

मेरे हिस्से में कुछ आसमान तो होगा ही।

दुनिया या दरिया के किनारे तो नहीं,
पर उन तंग गलियों से गुजरते वक्त__

               याद तुमने भी कभी तो किया होगा ही...

सुहानी सुबह और रंगीन शामो में ना सही,
लेकिन अंधेरी अकेली रातों में__

               मेरा कभी एक बार तो नाम लिया होगा ही...

चांद भले ना सही,

मेरे हिस्से में कुछ आसमान तो होगा ही।

--- नारायणी

Once there was a.... (Finale)

She met a tornado of thoughts after the day she realized her happiness is not being with him.
She spent her nights staring the moon playing with white clouds, in the dark sky. She questioned herself alot of times. She never wanted to be the reason of any tear falling from his eye.

She called him "hi!"
"Hi, my love!" He replied.
"Are you drunk?" She noticed his accent.
"A little bit. Out with friends tonight" he replied
"Oouh.. sorry. Enjoy with them. We can talk later." She said and was about to cut the call.
"No, we are just talking about you only. I'm so lucky to have you. Infact, my friends too wonder,  how can you can date a guy like me?"
She smiled and asked "Really?"
"Yes! Thank you for being with me." His words made her to think again about my words.
"I love you." She said and disconnected the call without waiting for his reply.

She walked to the patio and relaxed on the chair and kept looking into the sky for hours.
She thought about those days when she was craving for love, and for him she was just an option till he get the one he  actually deserves.

She smiled and recite the line for the sky to listen what he said to her.... "untill the time I don't get my dreamgirl, you can be my girlfriend because I have no other better option for now."

She closed her eyes and wiped the tear rolling and smiled at the laughter he made just after she asked "what?" as a reaction on the sentence he said and turned into the joke.

She was a joke to him all the time,
And today just because his friend said something, may be  to get paid for his drink, it recalled him of my love.

She spent her entire night thinking about every incident when she needed him and always found herself alone.
She now, doesn't trust him anymore.
Everytime, she even think to approach him for some help she either get excuses or the taunts of being a failure
She now knew that she deserves to be alone instead of in the relationship that is causing a giant cavity in her life.

They met,
She hold his hand ,
And told him that she is not happy in this relationship. Instead of supporting her decision he accused her that she must be cheating on him with some other guy.

That actually broke her. I clearly remember her reply. She said "Yes! I was cheating....from always. I was cheating myself for being with you. The time I should have given to myself, my pleasure, my happiness, my career, my worth... I gave that to you. I cheated myself with you."

They both cried alot that day. I don't know the reason for his tears.
But she.... She was crying because she betrayed her weaker version.

I won't lie that she stayed happily ever after that,
But yes! She stayed strong. She now knows well, that her peace is not in being with someone strong... but in the search of the strength in her own core.